turning today

I am trapped in the continual faces of yesterday;
of sunrises and pitfalls
and "taking one for the gipper."

considering the has-been i've become
and pushing off tomorrow
for a sad counterfeit of youth.
remembering when i was wrought iron
and a pillar of vigor.

soaking my masterpiece in turpentine
and washing away pale grey stains
replacing the bitter-sweet with a white-wash.
lumping my failures in with could-have-been successes
and torturing an artist starved for attention.

is this what today has become?
that poor reflection of what i am not?

i did once exist in this hall of valor;
a trophy place i constructed in my memory.
Today i clean the cobwebs from the ceiling fans
and ignite the remaining torch of Señor Gunrenthal.

No more cowered in the corner
playing peek-a-boo with a king cobra;
i douse this edifice with gasoline.

letting someone else mourn
in the ashes of what could-have-been.

i renew my hope with a mighty heave-ho to my cross
and trudge forward toward what might be
and cherish each sunrise with you.